sigh

My Confessions.

Yes, i am about to confess something that i have never told or discuss with anyone in particular. to begin with, on the 27th November, my birthday, was incredibly heart warming yet heart dropping. I'll start with the soothing part first k ? the great thing about 27th nov 2008, all my acquaintances and good friends wished me.

sadly, my bestest friend didn't . no names will be mentioned though :) but thank you so much to those who did.

However, its not a big deal anyway. perhaps they have their own explanation on why they did not wish. hmmm :( presents? well, so far, just birthday cake(s) from my schoolmate, a bracelet from a friend and cake(s) from my parents. but abah and mama was really busy; preparing for the chidren's day event. they said they'll postpone the actual celebration. i was really upset. sharp 12.01am (28th Nov), I cried.

Oh yeah! not to forget, eddy called at 11.45pm, we talk talk and talk, exactly midnight, he started to stop our conversation and started counting down "10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" and started singing " happy birthday to youu, happy birthday to youu, happy birthday to nur eleena azhar..haaaappy birthdaaaay toooooo you! ". I was speechless at that moment. and then, i can hear the sound my text messages comming into my inbox. 10 messages at once ! haha. was really happy that moment.

At 1 am, Husni text messaged me. saying that he has a surprise for me. *and i started to wonder what the heck could it be* . i takut he does something gila je. haha. at around 1.30am , I recieve a call from 'Husni Videocall'. and picked it up. i saw husni , maybe dalam kereta kot? macam yee je. and he asked me to wait. then i boleh dengar him telling his friend to sing along. haha. then they macam ok ok. and husni started to sing, "Haappy birthday to youuu.." and then he suddenly stopped. because his friends did not follow up. hahaha sumpah kelakar and cute gilaaa . he was like looking at his friends. and kawan dia tak bagi support. so, i laugh. but then, after 5sec tengok kawan dia takde response, he just continued singing the happy birthday song. goshh, my feelings was tooootally stirring up! i just smiled the whole time. too happy , toooo happy that i did not even aware of my surrounding. thaaaat was the cutestttt thing that a person has ever done to me for my birthday. i wish i recorded that moment ;( sumpah i sayang you gila husni. sadly you're my petbro :p kalaaau la, we could go more than that. hmm. but then again, i dont think so. i believe he just likes me not more than a friend. haha biar ah. lol. but i still loveee you man (:

27th Nov, busy busy busy, everyone was busy. and 27th is the last day of my school years ! gaha.

Est and seni lukis. gila happy. anddd sedih gak la. cuz no more sleeping in class. no more eating in class. no more fighting with teng, fana, mus, ethan, ayed and muchtar dah. no more listening to rabia menggila mcm excessive intake of caffeine. haha. rindu amani. no more kacau-ing amoi andria. i miss argueing with the teachers. i miss bahan teachers. i miss ponteng in school. i miss kacau-ing makcik canteen. i miss nasi goreng sekolah. i miss pranking friends. i miss using the phone in school. i miss breaking the outfit-code in school. i miss not doing homework. i miss learning science. i miss commenting the fugly teachers' style. i miss gossiping in school. i miss skipping school. haha. gah, macam budak jahaaat je :s nahhhh . im not a bad student. the teachers loveeee me , really! :) Merdeka.

Sharp 10pm, eddy proposed me. (couple ah, bukan engaged -___- ) so i just said yes. well, kitorang dah

mmg mcm bf&gf pun ever since the day we broke up (1st may 2008). but i dont know la, eddy ni macam tak betul je. if he reaaaally does love me, asaaaal ah bila i TANYA je why tak tukar status in myspace. u know how he reacted? he response like a maniac. macam pissed off gila, and he said IIIIIIIII am so insecure about it. watafak -.- baru cakap tentang status. and after like AN HOUR we argued and faught, he finally changed his

status to 'in a relationship'. and he can still brag, ' Dah , puas hati you?! ape lagi you nak i tukar? i can change '.

and deeeeeeeeep inside my heart was like . OH-MY-GOD . dia cakap macam tu as if i ni gila terhina and mcm paksaaa him to do it. macam iiiiii yang obsessive over him. sumpah, what/how his reaction or the way he reacted reaaaaaaaaaaally pushing my patience. i was about to say&do something that i reaaaaaallly not suppose to say&do. but i just end the conversation with i dah fed up, bye. gila fucked up do. pasal status je?

is it so harddd for him to justttttt change his status to 'in a relationship' ? and put my name in his who id like to meet, just like most boyfriends would do to their gfs. i dont think eddy reaaally loves me. he still flirts, i know. even tho dia slalu said taaaaaaaaaaakkkkk, apehal ngn u ni . dioorang KAWAN i je la. and ill be like, hm yelahh kawan. kawan ajak gi 'dinner just the two of us' kawan yang call each other 'dear' and kawan that calls at night. haha. its okay. i'll just wait n see how far can my patience go. that is whyyyy i wouldnt want to put him in my page. nak mengaku i dah cpl pun rasa mcm tak betul je mcm something is not right. he doesnt make me feel confident at all. cuz i know, eddy isssss not putting his commitment in the relationship. gawd, i sampai termimpi2 kott, dia letak my name, and date of our official-together-date on his profile. godddd, i was damn happy. but i know, that dream will NEVER come true. i know my eddy. dia taknak the girls to go away. pfft. eddy semua dah okay. i really like most of his personality, but this part. haihhhh. how i wish he could proudly love me. if he really does, god, i will never see other man but him. he will be THE BEST. tapi, dia yang nak mcm ni right, so.. whatever. eleena eleena, bad luck je kau. i'll just go with the flow~