Once upon a time,

Today, i just realized how lonely i am. How empty my life is. But life must go on. Cause i have many things to be accomplished. DAMN, why the hell am i writing emo emo stuff. Haha. Okay. My day today? Gosh. BORED. Feels like dying in this boredom. The internet is my only friend right now. Mannnnn, i reaally need MONEY MONEY. I used to think money is nothing and not a solution for anything. But now, GOD what was i thinking?!?! The world TODAY, money IS everything. If you're rich, people would somehow look up on you and treat you as if you are the goddess. But that also requires self-confidence, optimistic-thinking, intelligence, dignity & pride. Oh how I wish my parents are the HILTONs. Damn. I would be like the happiest girl in the earth. Although i'm not saying that I want to be like Miss Paris ; perfectly and utterly BIMBO. That's just plain stupid. Haha. Obviously, i am NOT. (I suppose) But who cares. Okay okay , attention dear readers, i am about to talk about my fantasies . so do bare with me ! Haters, you may LEAVE :D


Eleena's Dreams, FANTASY dream ~

Well, if i'm born to be the daughter of an intelligent and successful BILLIONAIRE parents .. that would give me RM50, 000 per month as allowance.. Dayumm , i'd be the happiest girl :D Yes, i do want to succeed in life.
But definitely not through my parents effort. that still won't be the reason i would be living in a successful rich and famous life. i want to achieve it through MY OWN accomplishment. through MY OWN hard work. Even though parents are billionaires, i WON'T DEPEND on them. They WON'T be the root of my success. But I AM. i would want to be a graphic designer/event management, and success through that. where my salary would be RM250, 00 per month. my my.. what would i do ? MY money, MY hard work and MY SUCCESS .*evil laugh* WOW! what would i do, what would i do ? Huoahahahahhahahaha. okay first, i'll take my grandma-nani and also my disable aunt-fara to live with me in a house that i would buy ; a triple-story house of my own in HARTAMAS. I'll design it myself and also with the best architect and interiors that i could get. i would make it into a high-tech modern exotic theme.. using only 3 colours for the outer layer ; red white and black. then nani and fara can have the 2nd floor room. and i'll let nani handle my garden since she just loveee and enjoys gardening :) i'll also adopt a couple of cute cats :) and then, i'll colour the 1 st floor which would be the guest areas and the living room with pure white, silver, gold also artistic mirrors here and there and some fresh colourful flowers and and andd cool designed sculptures. Next, the 2nd and third floor would be filled with all the contra colourful colours of walls, ceiling, doors, chandeliers, and also the furnitures. and the furnitures would be like the weird ikea's irregular shaped kinda type. the garden will be covered with full of exotic and mesmerizing flowers or plants. toilets are all crystal clear tiles, jacuzzi, bathtubs, and with spot lights all over. rooms? probably 3- downstairs, 4- on the 2nd floor , 3 - 3rd floor and the ROOFTOP. where the swimming pool and sauna room is located ;) wooohoo! dammmmnnnn, i would be drooling if i got this FOR REAL. haha. and then, the housework? well, i'll leave it to the maids. maybe 5 maids would be hired. 1st : cleaning, 2nd : gardening, 3rd : cooking, 4th : cooking again, and 5th, cleaning & tidying. cars? well, i would lovee love loveee to have the LATEST off-roof bmw sport car. i don't care what series la right. as long as it is the latest and useful ones. colour ? maybe deep metalic purple? and maybe 2 benz and also an Audi. Everyday, i would be served with fancy food. and wears designer clothes and fancy shoes. plus, whenever i want to have some outdoor time, at least 4 body-guards will be around the guard me of course . and money is not an issue. well, zaza (my younger sister), u can stay with me too :D then we can have loads of fun together. mama and abah? well, they can live in their own fancy mansion to have their own privacy :) muahahaha. this is INSANE !!! hahahahha. omg, i am so bored . see what it had made me do. hehehe. maybe, just MAYBE.. who knows..
my dreams would become a REALITY..? Insya'allah~ (god's will) Sky is the limit !
And the BEST part is, i don't even need a men to give me wealth and to make me feel whole,
because i complete myself.



- The End -

Rewind,

have i mention yet that me and eddy are over? oh, wait. NOT YET.
hahaha just for the record, we're over. well, we WERE together on the 24th. and ended on the.. ermm, 1st may? haha. yeah, sekejap gila. i broke up with him. i told him, i'll just pretend that we were never been together as a 'couple'. since that is what u wanted, i'll give it to you :) because i found out some stuff about him that he (a boyf) not-suppose to do/did. but whatever, for the first time, i didn't double check. i just couldn't care less. maybe because i didn't fell deeply in love with him. surprisingly, this is my first time, for not crying for losing a guy. i have to admit, eddy was just a 'rebound guy'. i accepted him in the first place because i thought " hey! he has been liking and hitting on me for quite some time, so why not give him a chance". so, i did. unfortunately, he disappoint me. ha-ha. i didn't care much. at first, i planned to give him his karma. but then again, to think of it, his 'game' was just so predictable and ammature. and i understand his stupidity. so i sort of forgive him :) and sort of forget. now, we are just friends. but he doesn't like the idea of so. he wants more than that. few times a week, he would text me saying " i miss you so much..", " i still love you.." , "i'm so sorry for everything that ive done to you from the bottom of my heart..", and those sad, emo, stories and pick up lines. pfft. i didn't entertain though. for example, whenever he says imissyou or iloveyousomuch eleena, i would just reply "okay, eddy!". and he'll be like * hmmm*. he also asked me to call him once in a while, dulu, yes, i'll call. sekarang? nahhh. i'll just say " why dont u just call me". sometimes he'd say " my credit tak cukup". blablabla.. old-rotten-EXCUSES!! :p so now, i'll just tell him straight, " no, i won't. from now onwards, if you want to talk to me, YOU call. i takkan call u dah." and " malas lahh. you bukan anyone special to me pun. we're just friends. so i'll treat u like one." and then, dia emo. whatever, i dont even care. sulk all u want. i won't persuade. this simply means, he's trying to win my heart again. hahahahaha. obviously, no more second chance for you babyyy :) i'm not keeping any grudge on u though. it's just that.. i want to make you realize , who you are actually fooling around with :) now, he suffers. i do pity him sometimes. well, i am not sure what is going on in my mind nowadays. i don't know why and how, LOVE/boys is not my kinda 'thing' or interest anymore these past few months. i'm just not interested in those things anymore. to me, guys means nothing. hot guys MIGHT do. lol. jk. they dont too. i'm just too tired and lazy to be back in the track anymore. there are many guys here, in this world. and i'm only seventeen years old. so why should i bother about them? it is still a long journey to go through :) more intelligent pretty boys are waiting up ahead :D haha. oh wait! i don't need a boy, i need a MAN. muahaha. i just realized, that this is not an appropriate time for me to get serious in things called love and relationships. kalau yee pun i do get into a relationship, i won't put my full hopes and dreams in it. to me, relationships at this age is just like a training and to gain experiance before i'm in the final league- marriage :| It's just like buffing up your skills on how to handle ridiculous and complicating situations during relationships. who knows, maybe one day you'll be a perfect wife? LOL. blablabla. i have no time for this . this is just a silly 'game'. i tend not fall deeply at this period of time. for now, SPM is all that matters to me , jyeahh :)

LifeGame.

Here i am. siting down all alone. reminisce the time when i was really happy.
when i still have good friends. awesome lover. loving parents. and a happy familly.
now, everything has turn upside-down. i kept asking myself. what have i done that
i deserve this kind of life. i dont understand why did god even sent me into this awful earth in
the first place. everyone doesn't seem to like having me around. my sister was embarassed
to admit that she loves me when she was asked from my friends. i hold up my breath and exhale with a smile. i forgive her because i love her and she's my sister no matter what. *sigh* plus, my bestest friends had turn
into my worst enemy without a rational reason. i really miss them though. i really wish i could
talk to them and tell them how much i really really need them back in my life. if only they would listen. this is really hurtful. my greatest parents seem to had showed some signs
that they're giving up on me. my brothers? speechless. i dont know who my true friends are. i
pretend as if i am fine. as if nothing is wrong. i fake a smile and put up a show so that no one
would start asking. i hate feeling this way. i hate feeling depressed. i need someone to really
talk to. but who would listen? left me all alone by myself :(