Custom-made poem.

Him & her.

Life is made out of weird decisions
And i know she did the right one
seeing her going through all the pain
It was unbearable to even hear

Maybe she still thinks of him.
I wouldn't know.
They look so perfect together.
Who would have known.

I wouldn't blame her if somewhere
in her heart there is still love
No such person would forget scuh burning love
Despite the things that they went through
She still had time to think it through

Love is blind, love is not hurtful
The things people can do just seem unbelievable
I know what she did was for the best
I'll be here hoping that she gets some rest.

Kindly written by,
Nicole Aldeth Main.

Dedicated to:
Eleena Azhar.

That poem was specially made by (as the above). The poem is basicly about my so called 'past'.
I tolddddd her not to write anything about the past, which specifically refering Mr 2610. Babe, i want the PRESENT and FUTURE. Past= BORING!. haha. But nooo, dia nak jugak write about him. gishhh. i have moved on ok =.=" (no more old pictures nor old msgs; DELETED) i am so tired of remembering him. Cause he is just a mistake to me. we shouldn't had got together in the first place pun. Shit happens :p At first, it was hard to move on. then, nicole told me something. Something that 'switch off' my feelings towards him right away. hahaha. Glad that it happened though. He is nothing but a flaw in my life. Moving on~ MEN are useless. Semua tak boleh pakai. Life is better off without them. Single best ok! haha. enough of this. Thanks anyway nicole for the lovely but meaningLESS poem. haha. i appreciate it a lot. Menyesal gila i waste my time waiting for him. Bukan nak appreciate ;( Seriously. buang masa. I didn't know that a person i once truly in love with could be such a jerk. It's like he is no more of a nice, sweet and lovely person that i used to know. Well, just like most of my friends said, " he is not the kind of person that is worth of waiting. Get over it! ". So true. I am :D Anyway, Nicole, thank you so damn much for opening up my eyes! and make me realize how stupid i was for waiting for that worthless person. Sorry dude, i didnt mean to hate you this bad, i tried so hard to not-forget about you and make our memories remain as a good one, but you made me do this :)

Human's nature.

Monday, March 17th. School opens and holidays are over. I manage to complete my Science's test paper calmly just now. Okay, you know what? During the holidays, I didn't even had time for myself ; casual hang out with friends, shopping, and stuff that typical teenagers would do. Just spending most of my time in front of the computer/laptop ; onlining, studying, eating and spending more time with my family. Since Abah hasn't received his 'salary' in this is month, we had to sit around at home and doing NOTHING. What a bore. But in the mean time, surprising things happened. Recently, someone that i least expected to do what he did; confessed that he is in love with me :s Oh god. This spells for chaos! He is cute. Nice. A good friend, indeed. Great sense in fashion. Outgoing and knows how to have fun. Knows how to have a good conversation with the ladies. But the only thing that turns me off is, he seems to be known with two personalities ; a kind-heart, melancholy, sweet and charming guy who knows how it feels like to lose someone valuable hence trying to avoid of happening again.. & the other one, a sweet, charming guy who just enjoy flirting. sob* However, in some kind of way, i just think he is just a typical heart broken guy who needs someone to love. Since he hasn't found any, he tends to flirt enable to distract the feeling of being solitary and loveless. I am just assuming. I can't clarify so. I really hope he is what i think he is. According to him, he has a feeling towards me even before i am with Mr. 0306 guy :p Even after with Mr. 2610 too! Whether he is telling the truth or making it all up, Lord knows. Yet, I don't fully trust it too. Just saying what i am acknowledged with. (btw, i am totally over with Mr.2610, he is meaningless as dust to me now ;) ) so now, i'm just studying and observing Mr. Secret to wait for what lies beneath his confessions. I am sorry, I just can't seem to trust male's promises and saying that easily now. I won't be so naive and easily convinced like i used to be. I will be more particular and firm right now. I have reasons of why am i being how i am currently. I want man to appreciate me more than just a 'girlfriend'. I want them to see me as a valuable and one of a kind person. Just like Farhana said, " Like how a european men see their girlfriend/wife/lover ; like a valuable diamond. They wouldn't want to make any mistakes to lose it." It sounds ridiculous, but that's how i like it. I need a man who have self-dignity, respectful, knows how to treat a lady, intelligent, romantic, patience, matured, productive, optimistic, well-dressed, caring, compassion, understanding, responsible, independent, firm and a great sense of humor person. I need to be cherished, pampered, the essential priority, respected, adored and loved the right way. (to nicole: yes, i am choosy) bukan apa, I just don't want to make the same mistake twice. I just want to be more precaution and aware. I am not interested in 'puppy love' anymore. Serious committed relationship, I seek. Hopefully he understands why i don't respond what he had think i would have right after he confess it. It's not a matter of you are not good enough or my type but I just happens to have full of doubts towards you. I would likely to see more of effort+proves and less of promising, talking and blabbering. Have patience. Good things comes to those who waits ;)
P/s: I do adore you!

Freshman.

Okay first of all, would like to say thanks to a friend of mine, Nicole Adeth Main. Well, she sort of inspire me to create a blog. And actually join her "Blogger's World". Pfft. (happy, nicole?) Incase you are wondering who this Nicole is? She's my classmate, my personal assistant, my shoulder to cry on, my sister-with different parents, the person that i love to irritate the most, ALSO the one who irritates me most of the time *in the class*, gets on my nerve once in while (but babe, i still love you okay), and basicly she's my best friend. (it's nice to make her lose her mind off or in a 'negro-language' : ' trippin '. seriously, ENTERTAINING dow. You make good jokes when you are pissing off. HAHA) Anyway, glad that she pushed me into this. Well, it could actually improve my ideas/style of writing and also my grammar in doing English essay :D Since SPM is just around the corner. So, hey! why not I practice it all right here. Haha. Readers, please do forgive me for writing things that aren't necessary and yeah, i know BORING. I'm new here. So shut up & bear with me. I didn't plan on anything before I did this. Suddenly just feels like writing to the world. FYI, everything that has been written is spontaneous. Shit. i'm seriously running out of words here. Maybe this one sucks but better ones are up ahead, patience ;) Bwaha. Gosh. Everything seems so complicated in here. Guess what? It took me 15 minutes to figure out howww to change my display name. *god, what next?* Now, i'm frustrated for not being able to 'master' this blogging stuff. Why can't it be as easy and friendly-to be-used like MYSPACE. Plus, i am certainly not satisfied with how my profile looks like. Oh, I need HELP ! :(